• Infertility,  Miscarriage,  Pregnancy

    Healed from Infertility: Our Rainbow Baby

    I can’t explain the despondency I was feeling around the beginning of October. As we crept into the beginnings of the month, I was anticipating what would have been the first birthday of the baby we lost, and thinking a lot about what may have been. My husband and I had been going to a specialist for infertility since January and every trip yielded more depressing facts. When one problem improved, another unraveled. Here it was… October…. and if it didn’t work by November, the next step in the process would have required procedures my husband and I object to. I knew that in four weeks, I would hear the…

  • Miscarriage

    I Have A Perfect Child

    I have been trying to mentally prepare myself for Mother’s Day for weeks. After enduring my fair share of “highest voltage on the rawest nerve” moments and “kicked swiftly in the gut out of nowhere” announcements… I have been gearing myself up for the unavoidable 24 hours of maternal appreciation, long speeches on the joy of children, and untried sermons on Hannah’s struggle, vow and answer to prayer. To be honest, I do not know how the day will go. Will it be one of the those “what was I so afraid of?”days, or will it be one of those times when you are left standing in a sea of…

  • DIY,  Miscarriage

    Potpourri Bear: A Miscarried Baby Memorial

    My husband gave me these sweet treasures on Valentine’s Day of this year, only minutes before we both found out that we would be parents. What a blessed joyful experience that was for us. We had waited so long, and then all of the sudden it was happening! While Mark gave the teddy bear and the roses to me before he had any idea I was carrying his child, after we lost the baby at the 6 week mark, both became inextricably linked to that child. In the weeks following the miscarriage I went back to and stared at the roses that had long since dried, and would often rearrange…

  • Featured,  Miscarriage

    The Miscarriage Misconception

    Today, my husband and I received a card. It was from someone reaching out to us, letting us know that though they didn’t know what we were going through, they cared. I must have read that card over 1,000 times today, and matched each neatly penned word with a tear. What a priceless treasure that card was to me; not because someone extended sympathy to us, but because in the sea of hundreds of people that knew we lost a tiny life, there was someone out there that recognized this child… this little life… my tiny little baby’s death was important enough to acknowledge… important enough to go out and buy a…

  • Miscarriage

    Glory the Fish: A Tragic but Insightful End

    Well… Glory the purple fish did not last long. Suffice it to say, I have never had good fortune with fish. It was nice while it lasted. There was a little life in our house; something small yet very much alive. Apparently however his time has come, because now he is very much dead. And yet there are so many lessons in a dead fish. I’m sure some people wondered why my “he” fish had a girl’s name. No… I wasn’t trying to make a funny statement, or plotting to make his gender ambiguous. He just kind of “was” to begin with. I mean… he was a purple guy. Purple……

  • Miscarriage

    A Reservoir of Glory: Miscarriage

    We had been married for eight months. I knew that by most people’s standards, this was not long to wait for a child, and because of this, I never voiced my concerns. But it was a concern for multiple reasons that the Lord knows. We wanted a child, and we were afraid that we couldn’t have one. One night in church however, the glory of the Lord filled the house from front to back as people worshiped Him in the most sincere fashion. My mind and heart were so enraptured in the glory of God that the things of this earth, even the most important things, seemed so small and…